I Don't Feel Like It

I tend to procrastinate. I can reason out every excuse not to do something until I just absolutely have to do it.

I prayed for five years for a desire I had on my heart. Five years seemed like a long time waiting for a dream to come to pass. Yet, this burden would not leave me. I asked the Lord that if the desire was not from Him to remove the desire from me. But He didn’t. Finally, four and a half years ago my desire and dream came to pass in HIS timing. I started home schooling my oldest child, then one year later my youngest.

This blessed me so much even through its ups and downs I kept pressing on with the journey. It was new and fresh. Therefore the challenges inspired me. And God put other home school moms in my path to encourage me.

I confess now four and half years into this journey, I wanted to quit. This past holiday break; we took almost three weeks off. We went skiing, came back home & celebrated Christmas and New Year’s. I fell out of routine, and I didn’t want to get back into it. I enjoyed sleeping in. I enjoyed indulging in fine confections. I enjoyed visiting with family and friends. I just didn’t want it to stop.

The home educator, the teacher in this situation, did not want to go back to school!

Quitting this journey is not an option. The job is not finished and I must press on. I know that in my heart.

I knew I needed to work on lesson plans to start back to school this past Monday. But I delayed and found other things to do. Finally Sunday night, I worked diligently to put together some plans. In the midst of it, the phone kept ringing, friends stopped by and other things happened so I only got one week’s worth of planning done (I normally plan out four weeks at a time). This week I have other things to work on as I’ll be hosting some special out of town (actually out of the country) guests.

Monday morning came and school started in our home. I had to do it anyway. To my surprise, things went well—just the usual stuff with the two boys—talking, bickering, some fussing about assignments, etc. (I said a prayer for the public & private school teachers that have 20+ students in their class.) Overall a good day. Yesterday was a good day.

I didn’t feel like going back to school. But I realized—routine is good. I learned through this that feelings are fickle and can’t be trusted. I have to do what the Lord has given me and entrusted to me in this season of my life. I must obey in spite of how I feel…

1 Samuel 15:22
…To obey is better than sacrifice,
and to heed is better than the fat of rams.

Colossians 3:23
Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men,

I’m off to serve the Lord in my home with the children He entrusted to my care and instruction.

Lord, I praise You for You laid the foundations of the earth and the heavens are the work of Your hands. Lord, I thank You for Your Word that strengthens me and encourages me to press on in Your will. Lord, I thank You for these young lives that You have entrusted to my care. May I obey You and do what You have called me to do. Lord, I pray that I work for You and not for my own selfish desires. I pray I do my work as unto YOU and stop the procrastination. I pray that You lead me in giving these boys instruction. I pray that I train them in Your ways and Your truths so that when they are old that they wont depart from it. Lord, I bless Your Holy Name. In Jesus name I pray, Amen.

Blessings in Christ--